Sex Sling

There’s little doubt among sex researchers and there pints that explicit sex on videotape can tune up your skills while it turns you on. “If you want to learn to do things. you do better by watching,” a psychologist who specializes in marriage and sex therapy.

And in addition to their educational value, or perhaps because of it, a growing proportion of triple-X viewers are couples. Adult sex movie are no longer just a guy thing. They’re the media age horizon-broadeners for couples.

As a result of all this, sex movies, even some good ones, are easily available, sanctioned by most sex therapists, and not very expensive to rent. But it’s not like you’re running down to the 7-Eleven for nachos and sour cream. Porn videos are still controversial. And they can be controversial in your home. “There are a lot of women who’ll throw you out of the house if you bring one home,” So proceed on your stay-at-home movie date with caution.

Make sure she wants it. Cueing up Monty Python and the Holy Grail after you told her you were bringing home a “British historical epic” might work as a funny shtick. But promising her a “romantic classic” and surprising her with Debbie Does Dallas can backfire something terrible (even though you were technically telling the truth). “You have to communicate with her on this,” “Every woman is unique, with different appetites and desires.”

Make sure you want it. It doesn’t matter how seasoned a porn veteran you may be. Seeing it with the one you love (and live with) is a whole different ball of wax.

“There are times where embarrassment takes over and the guy can’t do anything,” So it’s not just for her sake that you need to talk about the whole experience beforehand.

Find one she’ll go for. Most X-rated videos—in fact, until recently, all X-rated movies—cater to men’s tastes, and not necessarily our most civilized ones. But some are produced with women or couples in mind. A few are even made by and for women (although with the whimsical pseudonyms prevalent in the business, it’s hard to tell who’s what). At any rate, it’s your challenge to find the appropriate genre, even if it means asking the guy behind the counter. “You need to be discerning,” “Don’t assume that what you find stimulating will be equally stimulating to her.”

Get educational. It’s pretty hard to find a plot in a sex movie anyway, so why not try the how-to kind? “There are some great sexed videos available that are introduced by sex therapists,” “They’re terrific teaching tools.” And they teach what you want to learn—positions, techniques, and so on—not just biology. Oh, and don’t let the “educational” tag fool you. This is stimulating stuff.

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